20-something Blues

Many people refrain from talking about this, but it is killing us. It’s killing our talent. It’s killing our minds. It’s killing our relationships. It’s killing a lot of other things too. IT IS DEPRESSION! We are in these 20-somethings and we are up against a lot. We have a lot to learn, yet, a lot to do. Everything around us is changing and so are we. We are 20-something! Yet, we lose our focus and motivation to get out and experience life or become whatever it is we want to. Sadly, some of our closest people have no clue as to what’s going on with us – and that discourages us so badly. We keep our mouth shut, because we don’t want to burden anyone. Most of all, we don’t want to be judged. You see, some of us are “depressed” and we don’t know why. So, the first thing someone says is, “why don’t you know what’s wrong with you? That’s crazy!” Then that worsens everything. I could go on and on about us, but I’d rather use that energy shedding light on how to help us.

Disclaimer: I appreciate my fans, but there is no reason to send me sympathy emails. This is not about me, it is about US. I say US and WE because I am YOU and YOU are ME. This is a society issue that is quite larger than me. Now, I will carry on.

Pre-Depression Symptoms

  • Lying in bed all day
  • Ignoring chores
  • Feeling alone
  • Lack of eating or increased eating habits
  • A “forced” smile
  • Outspoken individuals become soft-spoken
  • (The list goes on and on, sadly.)

GET UP!

I know that is the hardest thing to, but it is something that you must do. Once you get up, everything else gets better. Sometimes you are just “depressed” because you are lying around not doing things that interest you, which leads to my next point.dsc_0353

GET OUT!

Be it that room or house, just GET OUT. Often times we are tired of the same environment because it reminds us of some bitter feelings and emotions. Thus, we get depressed all over again. Your atmosphere is very contagious! Go to a park or beach and read a book.

SEEK HELP!

Now, this tip is more “advanced.” If the tips above don’t work, that is okay! It just means that your situation is too unique for you to handle. You need some special attention. Speaking of which, in most cases that is all you need in the first place! See, you got this! I suggest you search for a trustworthy “counselor” to help you. They are all around. Don’t know how to look one up? Email me: trelle.cotton@gmail.com. My heart is with you!

I am not depressed, how can I help?

Do not shame a person for their personal feelings. Calling them crazy, petty, insane etc. only worsens things. If you have never been in their shoes, you have no idea what they are going through. Moral support is what is needed.

Your friend haven’t hit you up in a while and you are worried about them? Check on them. Your significant other laying around all day? Get them out the house. Don’t shame them for not doing anything all day.

As a black society, we often resort to anger in order to “heal and deal” with what’s going on within; so, we portray anger, but we are really just crying out for help without shedding tears. We fight the tears harder than we fight the problem. We don’t want to be judged.

In no shape or form am I a psychologist, but this is what deems to be true in our society. WE need to help US. Today, ask someone the following: Have you fed your spirit lately? If not, why? That answer usually tells if a person is battling with something.

Love & Light,

Trelle B.

What she tackles, she conquers.

When you are on a mission, even life attempts to throw lemons at you. Attacks start to appear out of nowhere. There’s only one of two things you can do. Either you can make some bomb lemonade, or you can drink some bitter lemon juice. I don’t know about you, but I’m taking the bomb lemonade!

One thing that I’ve learned in life is… YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING! I’ve learned to not focus on what’s being thrown at me – instead, I remain focused on my assignment! No matter what is thrown at me, I must keep going. Be it life obstacles, failures, etc. – I have to keep going! Even if I fall down 7 times, I will still stand up 8. Why? BECAUSE I HAVE TO KEEP GOING!

IMG_2936I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve tried to give up, but something deep inside of me just wouldn’t let me. It’s the fire inside of me that won’t let me quit. Guess what? You should find your fire, too. When you want to give up so badly, realize how far you have come. Usually, I’m right at the finish line. I’d be crazy to lose it all right at the door – so, I KEEP GOING!  

Sometimes I want to cry. Sometimes I want to smile. Sometimes I want to do both. Whether I cry through it or smile through it, I still manage to get through it. However, I love when I can smile through it.

HOLD ON QUEEN, you are almost there. SMILE. LAUGH. CRY. Just handle your business!

Love & Light,

Mrs. B

Self-Care

When are you going to start thinking about you, and putting yourself first? Some call it selfish, but I call it taking care of YOU. No one is going to take care of you like YOU. Most importantly, if you don’t take care of yourself, then how are you going to fulfill what’s set out for you? You c a n t.A peace of mind is priceless – everybody deserves that. In this post, my main goal is to inspire you to develop some self-care routines.

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Mornings and nights are so important. How you choose to wake up and start your day says a lot about you. Much like so, how you end your day says a lot about you. If you do nothing else, I encourage you to develop a self-care routine for both morning and night. In doing so, you soak up so much positive energy. Thus, leaving you satisfied and in a fabulous mood for what’s next. When you make time for your inner being, you learn so much, and you also gain the opportunity to be in touch with the inner you. That’s so important – to be in tune with who you truly are. Self-care will definitely get you there!

Once we’ve tended to what’s within, we can then tend to our outer appearance. Now this is something that may move you or motivate you, but it needs to be said. Take care of your appearance and stop looking raggedy. Yes, we have those bad days, but we are not having a bad day 365! I mean it – stop it. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up.Moisturize that skin. Develop a skin care routine. Do your hair.Yes, I said it.Buy that new outfit. Buy those new shoes. Buy those new under garments. Holes do not belong in clothes and shoes, unless it is apart of the fashion. In other words, when it is old and useless, throw it away – you get the picture! 

A self-care routine can be as simple as starting your morning with meditation. It can also be as simple as ending the day with a nice bath, a dope playlist and a glass of wine (or a bottle), just reflecting on your day. Of course reading a good book will always be a great aspect of self-care.

Take care of yourself, so that better can attract you. In this season of BUSY(BIG things are coming your way), don’t lose yourself in the process. You are about to get BUSY, so that you can get BETTER. I’m challenging you to write down your self-care routine today!

*If you would love some additional tips for self-care routines, be sure to leave me a message on this post. I moderate all messages, therefore, your confidentiality is key here on this site.

Love & Light,
Mrs. B.

New Year…Shhh!

You do this every year, but there is nothing wrong with this, yet. Each time you say it, do you mean it? If the answer is ‘yes’, then read no further. If the answer is no, then allow me to inspire you very quickly. 

First and foremost, if it’s a “new” you, then you really don’t have to continue saying it. Show it! Maybe, that’s the initial problem. We often speak it, but hardly ever put it into action. So, can we work on broadcasting “false” information, and utilize that energy elsewhere – actually working on a “new” you, for example.

I would like to challenge you before the new year even begins. Write down your goals – everything you want to accomplish. Afterwards, create a plan that you can follow in order to slay all those goals . . . 

Slay those goals one by one in 2018

. . . AND then work on it of course. You probably complained all 2017, but what you not gone do is take that into 2018. Write it down. Plan it. Work on it. 

Success is not hard to achieve. You must have a plan and abide by it. The story’s moral is for you to talk less and work more. The difference will speak for itself.

Slay those goals . . . 

Suggestion: Create a vision board. (If you would like for me to do a separate post on how to create a vision board, then leave a message on this post). 

Happy holidays from The Brown Girl Inspo! 

-Mrs. B. 

Enjoy your journey

We always want it all right n o w, but of course it hardly ever works that way. We get so caught up in the moment, and we tend to forget to enjoy it all. Yes, I am telling you to enjoy the “bad” as well!

Enjoy your journey

Your journey is very unique, because no one is slaying that journey like you are. No one is working as hard as you are. No one is encountering and mastering all of these obstacles that you are. Some may travel on a similar path like you, but not everyone is slaying your journey like you. That alone is your power, and it should motivate you to embrace it all.

During this pivotal point in my life, I had to learn to enjoy all of this – that’s what got me through. The struggles, the stress, the ongoing to-do lists, and the pressure was intended to make me the woman I am. Now, why would I rush through all of that? Nope, instead I chose to go through it and grow through it!

I challenge you to take a moment and reflect on your journey. You have made some progress, whether it is small or large – you made it.

Remember: You didn’t come this far, to come this far.

She’s Back!

First off, I would like to sincerely apologize to my genuine fans who have been constantly asking me, “where’s The Brown Girl Inspo?” I quickly learned that my work here on this platform is definitely not in vain! So, thank you.

Some may know that recently, I have encountered a very pivotal point in my life. So much for a tough semester, kicking deployment’s butt, protecting my peace, facing adversity, enjoying my journey, chasing my dreams, slaying ALL of my goals, because I survived it all – and there is so much more that I wish to speak on at a later date. In a nutshell, I have been busy and very productive.

Along the way, I have learned so much and I am very thrilled to share all of this inspiration with you. Stay tuned, because SHE IS BACK!!!

Stop Rushing Greatness

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Let me guess… If you don’t have it altogether by a certain age, then that means you’re failing? Why should we put a date and age on greatness? The answer to that question is slightly affiliated with society and what it teaches us. So, one last question… When discovering that you’ve “failed”, what do you do? Give up? Go into a depression? Become envious of others? It’s safe to stop here, because you and I both know how this story ends. I repeat: You cannot put a date on greatness!

Why are you rushing greatness?

Greatness takes time and a whole lot of patience. Think of it this way… When someone is rushing you to get dressed for a hot date, what are your thoughts? I know for me, I love to take my time. The end result proves why the wait was worth it (ask my husband). Treat your future the same way. Take your time, and be patient enough to see the results in the end.

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Keeping up with the “Next”?

Let me just say this… What’s for the NEXT, is for the NEXT. Much like so, what’s for YOU, is for YOU. That’s all that you should be concerned about – what’s for you. Paying attention to someone else only puts you far behind.

A quick example of this:

  • Your dear friend just graduated with her Associate’s degree. She tells you and you add your unworthy two cents by saying, “Oh, congrats but you need to catch up. I got my Master’s.”

Run, honey! That’s not your friend. Real friends know that slow progress is better than no progress. Go at your own pace – you don’t have to keep up with the “Next”. 

Create a life that you love. As long as happiness is your priority, greatness will always follow. Society has taught us that our happiness is wrapped up into material things. Don’t kill yourself because you don’t have it altogether. Be happy and trust YOUR process. 

Love & Light,

Mrs. B